the gluten free authority

I am a straight sucka for blueberry muffins. When I saw this recipe, claiming to produce THE BEST blueberry muffins, I was a goner. I like bold statements, Best Of’s and ULTIMATE things. We all crave to be/make/do the best, right? In baking the expectations can be crippling. After throwing expensive gluten free ingredients into a bowl and then muffin tins, that first bite better be magic. If not, I still eat them all. It’s just that it would be cooler if I was hyped to do it.

My initial impression when making this recipe - my crumble topping was a wet sludge. I pulled it apart in tiny clumps to drop on top of the muffins but it never baked up like the pictures of the wheat-y ones in the recipe. Is that the gf flour’s weakness? Was the butter too warm? I don’t know.

Along that vein - have you ever been tempted to take a swipe of gf batter and stick it in your mouth? Don’t. Again, I don’t know what it is that gives the unbaked mix that peculiar bitter bite (the xantham I add maybe?) but it felt like the crumb on top held a little of that taste and so I think next time I’d leave it off. And probably save a few calories.

So, other than the crumb that wasn’t a crumb, they are f-cking fantastic. When cooking they make your kitchen smell like a kid’s toy, some cousin of Strawberry Shortcake, one you just want to huff the little face of all day. Uh, that sentence will get this post included in some gross Google searches.

ANYWAYS.

Make ‘em. Ditch the crumb. Sub in raspberries or even cranberries for blueberries. The tart pop would be fantastic against the fluffy sweetness of the muffin. Eat warm with real butter. Bring to a potluck brunch. Eat. Eat more. Cool? Cool.

I think, naw, I KNOW, my absolute new favourite thing ever is this: there are now specific places where I can get my favourite gluten free (fill in the _______.) Variety. Options. These words are a stunning mega delight to the ears of a celiac. We settle a lot. You just do. You pretend it’s good enough. Or you make your own and hope the time and money you put in doesn’t create a lump of inedible sludge - looking at you 45 lb strawberry cake.

When you discover a new gluten free good, one that makes you stop what you’re doing to inspect it like a scientist looking at a new fossil, you know it’s good.

I finally went into MyGoodness Gluten & Wheat Free Kitchen earlier this week. If a business is open only when I’m at work and/or the parking is a drag, I have an internal battle of wills. I’m an idiot. I should have been bum rushing this place a long time ago.

While my car was being inspected (verdict: after 12 years it’s not getting any better, cooler or cheaper to run - awesome!), I slipped into the warm bright space the bakery inhabits along a busy stretch of Broadway. Great bold splashes of red and orange paint, a beautiful bouquet of flowers on a table set for two and a display case filled with gluten free items I had never tried. It took everything I had to not rub my hands together like a cartoon villain and cackle.

I bought two little Quejo cheese puffs, a spinach & feta bun, two scones (savory & sweet) and a cinnamon muffin.

The quejos. Oh, the quejos. Remember how torn up I was about the Main St quejos? Turns out the problem is they make them way too big. These ones were the size of golf balls, puffy and crackling exterior with an almost hollow chewy core. I could have popped back half a dozen. Easy.

The cinnamon muffin held up overnight - it was a wee moist breakfast muffin to accompany my morning coffee. I love me some cinnamon and it was packed with it.

The spinach feta bun was a salty treasure - I ate it plain but next time I’d carefully dunk it into some good soup.

My favourite thing though, and what I will come back for over and over, was the scone. The sconeS. The cheese & chives scone was a lovely light brown in color, so flaky it was almost startling and had just the right hint of herb and cheddar. The lemon glazed blueberry scone was equally delicious - scattered through with juicy berries and also flaky, moist and textured. I don’t even like scones. But I feel like I want one every hour now. Seriously, a giant success for however these babies are made. I was floored at how good they were.

So, I now have a scone spot. Can I say again how happy that makes me?

(Also great - my Twitter is back in action AND it’s a long weekend here. Happiness. Yeah.)

Don’t be like me. Don’t always forget to jot down somewhere (ANYWHERE) the baking time of a recipe you make like bi-weekly. Because then you pull muffins out too early, take their picture, put them in the fridge like a crazy woman and eat chewy soggy muffins all week long. Because throwing them away would be like hacking off a limb.

Don’t eat an entire bag of Glutino yogurt covered pretzels for breakfast. You won’t eat lunch and then hate yourself at 3 pm when you really REALLY want more.

Don’t dismiss foggy head & a lack of memory as just side affects from a lack of sleep. As much as I am not comfortable with moping and sharing personal “Mrrrrh, I feel yucky guys” stories, reading other’s tales of woe may mean I’m not slowly morphing into a 77 year old. Maybe I am eating traces of gluten and need to play Celiac detective. Can I at least have a cool business card and night vision goggles?

Hold up…

Oh man - idea alert.

Dear Science,
Can you come up with a way for a particular pair of specs to reveal gluten? You’d put them on and any gluten around would glow like the way they can reveal blood/ejaculate on hotel room sheets? The Celiac community would make out with you for years.

Sincerely,
TGFA

It’s Mother’s Day weekend and if you live anywhere near my fair city of Vancouver, it looks like it’s gonna be a stunner.

If your Mama is living gluten free, grab a bag of Bob’s Red Mill gluten free all purpose baking flour and sub it in cup for cup (with a pinch of xantham gum for chew) in this gorgeous brown butter banana bread recipe from the marvellous Joy the Baker. (I made mine into muffins and subbed in chopped pecans and chocolate chips instead of berries.)

Happy eating & loving!

xo