(Pardon my absence. And how messy this is about to get. F-ck cohesion. The sun came out today for the first time in like 300 days and we’re all tripping hot balls in Vancouver right now.)
I am a) expecting a girlfriend in from Miami (with a whole intact face thankgod) and b) leaving SO SOON for a weekend away in Ucluelet to celebrate baby brother & other girlfriend’s 30th birthdays. There has been a lot of planning and more planning for this trip. Discussions around food have been the most complex. We eventually all agreed that if everybody brings their own sh-t and we just cook and share and laugh and fart together and then Instagram the whole thing, it will be perfect.
Last night I got my gluten free essential essentials for being away. They consist of: Zesty Cheese Doritos, trail mix, corn tortillas, Honey Chex, peanut M & M’s, apples, bananas, instant peanut noodles and some grapefruit Perrier. Still missing - gf graham crackers & wieners. This is a trip where some people are going surfing and some people (read: me) are lying in the shade with f-cking SNACKS and giving the middle finger to anybody who suggests actually moving. Oh, and I also got military-grade bug spray. Try me mosquitoes. TRY ME.
What you see above is not coming. That was part of a gluten free buying binge I went on last week to help deal with the terrible mechanic bill that took a wet sh-t on our heads. It was a gluten free lava cake from French Made Baking that I re-heated, topped with sliced berries & a squirt of fake cream, and then shared with my kid. Her face was a chocolate smeared nightmare, but she was totally content. (Oh, yeah, keep forgetting to yell at you guys - you need to try their salted caramel macaron. It is so good that I would not share it with my kid. I would cock my head, ask her with a serous face, “Is Elmo in your room RIGHT NOW wanting to play with you?” and then eat it slowly while she took off screaming.)
So, I’ll be away eating terrible things for a few days. I’ll be on Twitter & Instagram (gfauthority) if you really can’t handle being apart.
Also - next week is my interview (& giveaway!) with the lady geniuses behind Origin Bakery. (Yum & yay!)
Until then, SNACKS!